Of church mice and bar flies

The other first of this weekend, was that I had never gone out to sing karaoke solo, I've always had a wingman. But it was Friday night and for the past couple Saturdays I had woken up with the desire to sing my heart out and no place to do it. So about quarter to 11, I threw on my coat and trudged out to the Karaoke bar about 3 blocks from my house. I brought some paper and a pen so if any lyrical inspiration hit, I'd be good to go. It also gave me something to do with my hands so I wouldn't feel like a total loser. It's either that or take up smoking which might tarnish my oh-so choirboy image. ;-) Anyway, as it turns out, I had a good time even if my immediate fan base was unavailable. The locals that were there were encouraging, and of course, Jeti entertainment was fantastic.

I think I've mentioned this before, but I still find the similarities between bars and churches intriguing. They both have to offer a service that is valuable enough that people will go out (and sometimes pay for) instead of doing in their own home. I've heard variations on the argument that since God is everywhere you don't need to go to church to gain insight on Universal Truth. So why go? And for that matter, why would I go to a bar and buy a drink when I could get the same thing for half the price at the grocery store, drink it in my favorite chair, and have total control of the TV while doing it? And yet many churches and many bars are very successful. What do they offer? What makes them worth the drive?

1) They make you feel welcome immediately. The motivation may be different, but the result is the same. If, as a newcomer, you catch any whiff of hostility you'll never go back. And keep in mind that shyness and snobbishness often look the same at first glance. The 'Norm!' factor is really true. People like to be where they're liked.

2) They provide a forum for social networking. People with common goals or interests will gravitate toward each other. People go to both bars and churches as much for the fellowship as they do for anything else.

3) They don't waste your time. They must provide a service that's valuable to you. Whether that's pitchers and a big screen game, or new insight into The Holy, the bottom line is that what folks experience at your establishment has to be 'worth it' or they'll walk.

As a side note, since I've been doing the Church thing my whole life, I know I've been viewing the Karaoke scene through, like, Jesus-goggles or something. Church is my measuring stick, and I find it fascinating how people treat each other when you take the overt social pressure to be on your best behavior out of it. Sometimes things go really well, other times, not so much. Granted, going down to the local tavern isn't like bartering in a Somalian market or anything, but it's still an interesting study in social dynamics.

Anyway, a friend of mine has been finding himself in more religious circles than he's used to lately. He was telling me about his frustration with navigating conversations and trying to get the lingo down. He gave examples of awkward conversations and how even ending a discussion politely wasn't easy when you don't know the rules of engagement. If you aren't a 'church-type' and you walk into a church, people generally are going to be talking about 'church-stuff' which is boring if you're not 'church-y.' What I found most interesting is that I've felt exactly the same way in bar situations. I don't care what you're drinking, let alone want to talk about it. I don't know proper subject matter or how to start or stop a conversation. I don't know the appropriate length time to make eye contact, or shake hands. I have to take all my social cues from people around me.

This is probably why we go to Baptisms and Karaoke Bars together. I guess sometimes you need a hunting dog AND the Ouija board. (Sorry, couldn't resist the reference, 4th quote down)

All Saints Day

In my church's tradition, the first Sunday of November is All Saints Day. It's a time of reflection and remembrance for those who have died in the past year. Candles are lit and a powerpoint is shown as we're reminded to celebrate their earthly and eternal lives. I've always found it to be kind of a weird juxtaposition with modern day Halloween, but I suspect at one point it there was a more natural transition between the two holidays. Now, after a month of sugar and hype, I am challenged with trying to find joy in death. Real death, not movie death or funny or ironic death. Not the Halloween, costumed, candy-coated death. And it's difficult.

This year brought it's own unique frustration. About 20 people from my church died in the past year, and I didn't know any of them. I only even recognized one last name, but didn't recognize her face. Does that make this a good year? Am I lucky or am I a big jerk for not being involved enough? So while I'm stewing over that, my brain starts listing Christian death hymns. Amazing Grace. I've always been drawn to them. Partly because of my inner-goth-child, but also I think Bono (love him or hate him) summed up my feelings on the matter. Take My Hand, Precious Lord. He said that Christians generally don't like conflict, especially in their music, and yet most of the great songs revolve around some conflict. All My Tears Be Washed Away. You can't have a good song or story without a problem. I'll Fly Away. Throwing death in the mix inherently adds conflict.

And then the chorus of O Come and Mourn with Me Awhile poured into my head:

Oh love of God, Oh sin of man, in this dread act Your strength is tried.
And victory remains in Love. Jesus our Lord is crucified.

Talk about a rollercoaster. Love... sin... dread act...victory... crucified. From the chorus it's kinda hard to tell who's really winning. Sure, It's really a Good Friday/Easter hymn but I was struck by the parallel, though I couldn't verbalize it at the time. In six months I'll go through this again in reverse. Life to death, death to life. Celebration to mourning, mourning to celebration.

At this point, Chris looked over at me in the pew and whispered, "Do you need a Kleenex?" Needless to say, I'm all like, "No, I can handle it." Later in the car I fessed up that apparently I'm dealing with some stuff that's bubbling through to the surface. "It's ok, deal with it as it comes. At least you're feeling something," she said. And she's right... again.

Assuming No wind Resistance or other External Factors...

I've had a great week... I got to hang out with tons of old friends, got guitared, work was mildly satisfying, and despite my best efforts, I'm still alive.

Saturday night, I was heading back into Elgin to Brian's house for game night. In Belvidere, the streets were clear so I figured my chances of getting chased around with a kitana (AGAIN) were pretty low, and worth the risk.
But the drive was a total theater of the absurd experience... I do this drive every weekday, yet on Saturday, all the unwritten codes that commuters follow are thrown out the window. Saturday, you have to stay awake while you're driving because the other road zombies are wisely staying at home while the young, old, and insane are out in force. I guess I fall into the last category...

So I'm not even out of Belvidere and I end up behind a foreigner (Iowa plates) who, though I've never met and don't know their destination, I can tell you that I had a better clue of how to get them where they needed to go than they did. How? Because people from Iowa that end up in Belvidere aren't trying to get to DeKalb. They're looking for the interstate, and that, they were doing poorly. Driving 35 in a 45, creeping up to lights (making me miss the arrow) and picking the wrong lane forcing them to do that creeping merge thing. It's like the car is apologizing... Anyway, I watched the last part in my mirror because I passed them while they were still in the 'This way to DeKalb' lane. So now I'm on the onramp, which has an East/West split about a quarter mile in, and there's some guy sitting in his car at the split with a map in his lap. Which I might add, is past all the signs so it was really going to be a coin toss anyway, no matter how long stared at his map. So instead of trying to fire up to Interstate merging speed, we're all gawking at this guy who should have put an extra 5 seconds of forethought into his trip.

At the tollbooth, was Mr. "I'll stop in the IPass lane until I get the green light" and then at the Marengo exit I ended up between not one, but TWO cars that were driving like they were comparison shopping for the best gas price or something. I don't know, but they did a total Shriner's minicycle maneuver, crisscrossing each other then choosing different directions. Kinda like the Blue Angels except, in super slow motion...

So I'm finally off the interstate and in the clear heading east on 20. The road is a little wet and cold, but nothing I haven't seen before, and so I'm now going the socially acceptable speed of 10 over, but it doesn't matter because there's nobody anywhere near me anyway... Unless you count the two deer that had just cleared the road 20 feet in front of my car.

So yeah, I figure if I had not been 'encumbered' by multiple slow drivers, that probably would have put me significantly closer to those deer. I'm thinking like windshield close, and at that point there was an oncoming car, so swerving probably would have made a bigger mess.

You can interpret this account as you like, but if deer are good for nothing else, they reminded me of my own mortality when I was generally feeling in charge of my own destiny.