I was texting a friend yesterday and as I pecked out, "Not to sound like a dick, but..." I had to stop. I knew, unequivocally, that what I was about to write was so dickish that my fingers had already tried to passive aggressively send out a warning. I couldn't even convince *myself* that what I was about to type wasn't petty and cruel, and yet somehow announcing my intention was supposed to mitigate that I was indeed, about to write something only a dick would write? It was ridiculous. I was left staring at my phone with an uncomfortable choice. Either I shut up and delete, or I own up to it and be an unapologetic dick. You know, like a real dick. Normally this is a no-brainer for a peacenik like me, but in this particular case I really wanted to say it. I mean, REALLY. I wanted to jump on my elephant of self-righteous indignation and charge straight down off the moral high ground and trample away leaving nothing but dropped jaws and squashed egos underfoot! One pointed text and I would zero out my good Karma, but Holy Hand Grenade, I would be vindicated! Just. Hit. Send. Be that guy. Be a dick.
*sigh*
For some of us, it just isn't that simple. I can't feign innocence about my intentions once I'm aware of them. This particular conviction does me no good at the poker table, but has generally served me well in life. So I took a couple deep breaths, deleted my text, and started over putting more of a playful "Duck-Duck-Goose" slant on it than the "Knock-Knock-Shotgun" I feeling.
I wish more people would take a moment to think about their actions before doing them. Then we would all be far superior to the real dicks out there.
Just like me.
.JPG)
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