Step 1: Find bat in attic
Step 2: Go to internet and search for "OMG, I has a bat in my attic! Please Advise." Be sure to read about how good they are for the environment, how disease ridden they are, and then the part about how there's a big fine if you're caught exterminating them, you insensitive twit.
Step 3: Call insurance guy and say, "The interwebs said that most home owners insurance policies cover bat removal and clean up. Does mine?"
Step 4: Tell him to call you back when he's done laughing.
For extra credit, read about how you aren't supposed to 'relocate' bats in June, July, or August because the babies can't fly yet. Then look at this and try to care (No, it's not my attic.)
Ok, but the ironic thing is that, although they won't help get the bats out, they will pay for property damage caused by bats. Not clean up, but actual damage. So I guess I have to wait until the attic is so full of bat turds that it crashes through to my dining room. Geniuses.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
How I made my insurance man's day
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5 comments:
hah hah hah! No, I'm not really laughing at you, just laughing at a crappy situation and how you word it! Sometimes I hear little noises around the house, and suspect I have uninvited 'guests'!
Scared of bats? They're harmless unless they have rabies. Just don't bother it, and it'll eat your mosquitos up. That's worth the rent!
I humbly suggest you vaccinate your cats for rabies, stay out of the attic until August, educate your children about not touching bats (without scaring the kids, natch), and call me if you want help moving it out then. :) Don't try it on your own without a good butterfly net, thick leather gloves, long-sleeved shirt, long pants, and closed shoes. I don't think you'll have much problem with guano from one bat over three months...but I would seal up your house after August and/or after the bat's out. (Dish-washing liquid and water takes care of the guano pretty well; add 10% bleach for disinfection and wear a mask to avoid inhaling any dry particles.)
Just take a CD Player in the attic & blare some OZZY (any album before 'Bark at the Moon' will suffice)!!!
The bats will think Mr. Osborne is coming up for a snack & will get the hell out of there!!!
Seriously, I know that Menards sells some "Bat Away" powder for about $8
Ooooo save some guano!!! If you boil it just right you can make stuff that goes boom!
Lee,
I think your really missing an opportunity here. Instead of of getting rid of the bats you should spend a few days op there with them. caring for their young. Feeding with them. Getting to know them. Then if and when tragedy strikes your house you can adopt the bat persona to avenge your wrong doing. You could become some kind of bat.. man.. thing. See it will all work out. I'm going out to the store to pick up a Lantern.. I like green for the color.
See ya
Matt
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